The father's thoughts

This is the first time I wrote something about our baby here on the blog, so I pretty much know that it would be the only time also… so I pretty much better write something good…
Since the day I heard that we were having a baby, my mind and my whole world completely changed and YEAH, I do not see things the same way that I used to before, just like when I got married my life changed and so did I, but this time was different, there is a new creature (little monster… which I think I probably won call it like that, since it’s my own child now… lol) that is coming to this world and I’m the one in charge of it, which for me is one of the most amazing experiences in my life, and also the most scary one.
I have been praying and thinking a lot in the past 5 months and probably some of the things that I’m writing would even be a surprise for Erin. So I asked God so many times, to give me wisdom to raise this child, and to help me be the father I never had. A little background about my family history when I was a child I pretty much had two fathers, one that I though it was my dad, until the age of 5, but my mom told me he was not my real dad but some other guy and that I had to keep the secret, so I did for about 12 years, so I had 2 dads which it did not do much good for me since none of them really raised me and showed me what a real father was. They both did drugs and many things.
So I was really afraid that some of that might show up (not the drug part) while I’m a dad, I never had a role model to follow or someone to look up or a good example of what a father is. But since I found out that I was going to be a dad, I commit myself even more to God so that he will make me the father that he wants me to do. And also I started thinking about how was I going to provide for my family, since Erin is will have to stop working sometime, so I was like “I get a second Job”, and look for some and did not find any. So on my way to work while praying to God and asking him what was going to happen and pretty much telling him that I did not know what to do.
And yeah pretty much as usual he answered… first I want to say that God is so awesome and Good everything that He does has a purpose and nothing happens without him knowing what’s really going on. So he pretty much spoke to my heart and told me… what do you mean you don’t have an example of what a real father is? Have you not read my word and all my promises? I have shown you what a father is and pretty much instruct you how to be a good father, I have provide for you and you now here are worrying how to provide for your family when is not really up to you. Seek me first and the rest will be added, and I will show you how good of a father I am; the child is not even yours anyways and I will make sure he will not go hungry.
I was reading and searching things about how to be a godly father and found this on the internet which pretty much showed me my real role as a father, more important that the financial and anything else out there.

As parents, we must examine our nurturing and ourselves. Bringing a child into this world is a great spiritual responsibility that demands much prayer, thought, and provision, both material and spiritual. One of the worse things that I can imagine as a parent is to see one of my children be told on that "Great Day," "Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels" (Matt. 25: 41). However, even worse would be the realization that I contributed to their rejection by failing to responsibly exercise my duties as a parent. "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath," wrote Paul, "but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6: 4).

Well this is the end of part 1 for now… too much writing I’ll get back at I sometime.